滑稽列传

Confucius said: "The Six Arts all contribute equally to governance. Ritual restrains the conduct of men. Music cultivates harmony. History guides affairs. Poetry expresses intentions. The Changes effects spiritual transformation. The Spring and Autumn Annals establishes righteousness."

The Grand Historian remarks: "Heaven's way is vast indeed—how could it not be! When words, however subtle, hit their mark, they can also resolve chaos."

Chunyu Kun was a son-in-law of the Qi state. He stood under seven chi tall, yet he was witty and eloquent, and repeatedly served as an envoy to the various lords, never suffering humiliation.

Chunyu Kun was a son-in-law of the Qi state. He stood under seven chi tall, yet he was witty and eloquent, and repeatedly served as an envoy to the various lords, never suffering humiliation.

During the reign of King Wei of Qi, the king was fond of riddles and indulged in extravagant pleasures and late-night drinking. He was steeped in revelry and neglected governance, entrusting affairs of state to his ministers. The officials were disorderly, neighboring states invaded on all sides, and the kingdom stood on the brink of collapse. Yet his attendants dared not remonstrate.

During the reign of King Wei of Qi, the king was fond of riddles and indulged in extravagant pleasures and late-night drinking. He was steeped in revelry and neglected governance, entrusting affairs of state to his ministers. The officials were disorderly, neighboring states invaded on all sides, and the kingdom stood on the brink of collapse. Yet his attendants dared not remonstrate.

During the reign of King Wei of Qi, the king was fond of riddles and indulged in extravagant pleasures and late-night drinking. He was steeped in revelry and neglected governance, entrusting affairs of state to his ministers. The officials were disorderly, neighboring states invaded on all sides, and the kingdom stood on the brink of collapse. Yet his attendants dared not remonstrate.

The king replied: "This bird may not fly, but once it does, it will soar to the heavens. It may not sing, but once it does, it will startle the realm."

The king replied: "This bird may not fly, but once it does, it will soar to the heavens. It may not sing, but once it does, it will startle the realm."

The king replied: "This bird may not fly, but once it does, it will soar to the heavens. It may not sing, but once it does, it will startle the realm."

Thereupon the king summoned all seventy-two county officials, rewarding one and executing another, then marshaled his forces and marched out. The neighboring lords were struck with astonishment, and each returned the territories they had taken from Qi. Qi's might extended for thirty-six years. This account appears in the hereditary line of Tian (the Tian clan).

Thereupon the king summoned all seventy-two county officials, rewarding one and executing another, then marshaled his forces and marched out. The neighboring lords were struck with astonishment, and each returned the territories they had taken from Qi. Qi's might extended for thirty-six years. This account appears in the hereditary line of Tian (the Tian clan).

Thereupon the king summoned all seventy-two county officials, rewarding one and executing another, then marshaled his forces and marched out. The neighboring lords were struck with astonishment, and each returned the territories they had taken from Qi. Qi's might extended for thirty-six years. This account appears in the hereditary line of Tian (the Tian clan).

Chunyu Kun looked up to heaven and burst into laughter so violent that his hat strings snapped. The king asked: "Do you think the amount is insufficient?"

"How dare I!" said Kun.

"Then what was the cause of your laughter?"

"Just now, Your servant came from the east and saw a farmer by the roadside offering a sacrifice. He held a pig's trotter and a cup of wine, praying: 'May the raised fields overflow with baskets, may the low fields fill carts, may the five grains ripen abundantly, may the harvests fill every home.' I observed that what he offered was so little while what he desired was so much—so I laughed."

Thereupon King Wei added a thousand yi of gold, ten pairs of jade pendants, and a hundred sets of carriages and horses. Kun took his leave and departed. Upon reaching Zhao, the king gave him one hundred thousand elite troops and a thousand armored vehicles. When Chu heard of this, they withdrew their forces under cover of night.

Thereupon King Wei added a thousand yi of gold, ten pairs of jade pendants, and a hundred sets of carriages and horses. Kun took his leave and departed. Upon reaching Zhao, the king gave him one hundred thousand elite troops and a thousand armored vehicles. When Chu heard of this, they withdrew their forces under cover of night.

King Wei was greatly pleased. He ordered wine set out in the inner chambers, summoned Kun, and granted him a drink. "How much wine can you drink before you become drunk?" the king asked.

King Wei was greatly pleased. He ordered wine set out in the inner chambers, summoned Kun, and granted him a drink. "How much wine can you drink before you become drunk?" the king asked.

"Your servant can become drunk on one dou, or on one dan," came the reply.

"Your servant can become drunk on one dou, or on one dan," came the reply.

"Your servant can become drunk on one dou, or on one dan," came the reply.

"If you become drunk on one dou, how could you possibly drink a dan? Pray tell me your reasoning."

"If you become drunk on one dou, how could you possibly drink a dan? Pray tell me your reasoning."

"If my parent has an honored guest, and I am required to kneel with arms bound, waiting upon the wine before me, occasionally receiving a leftover drop, raising a cup to offer wishes, rising several times—I will become drunk after no more than two dou."

"If my parent has an honored guest, and I am required to kneel with arms bound, waiting upon the wine before me, occasionally receiving a leftover drop, raising a cup to offer wishes, rising several times—I will become drunk after no more than two dou."

"If I meet a friend whom I have not seen for a long time, and we suddenly encounter each other, delightedly recalling old times, privately sharing our hearts, I could drink five or six dou and become drunk."

"If there is a gathering in the village, with men and women seated together, drinking prolonged, playing liubo and darts, pairing off freely, hands held without punishment, gazes unrestricted—I privately take great pleasure in this. After about eight dou, I would be two-thirds drunk."

"When evening comes and the drinking wanes, cups are combined at shared seats, men and women occupy the same mats, shoes scattered about, cups and plates in disarray, the candles in the hall extinguished. The host keeps me to see off departing guests. Robes are loosened, and a faint fragrance lingers. At such a time, my heart is most joyful, and I could drink a dan."

"When evening comes and the drinking wanes, cups are combined at shared seats, men and women occupy the same mats, shoes scattered about, cups and plates in disarray, the candles in the hall extinguished. The host keeps me to see off departing guests. Robes are loosened, and a faint fragrance lingers. At such a time, my heart is most joyful, and I could drink a dan."

"When evening comes and the drinking wanes, cups are combined at shared seats, men and women occupy the same mats, shoes scattered about, cups and plates in disarray, the candles in the hall extinguished. The host keeps me to see off departing guests. Robes are loosened, and a faint fragrance lingers. At such a time, my heart is most joyful, and I could drink a dan."

An edict summoned and appointed Mr. Wang as Water Balance Assistant, and the Grand Administrator of Beihai as Water Balance Commandant. A tradition says: 'Fine words may be traded in society, and noble deeds may elevate one above others. The gentleman farewells with words; the petty man farewells with wealth.' In the time of Marquis Wen of Wei, Ximen Bao was Prefect of Ye. When Ximen Bao arrived in Ye, he assembled the elders and asked about the people's suffering. The elders said: 'We suffer from providing brides for the River God, and because of this we are impoverished.' Ximen Bao asked the reason, and they replied:

"Thus it is said: 'Wine carried to extremes brings disorder; joy carried to extremes brings sorrow. All things are thus—nothing should be pushed to its limit, for what exceeds its limit declines.' I offer this as gentle counsel."

"Thus it is said: 'Wine carried to extremes brings disorder; joy carried to extremes brings sorrow. All things are thus—nothing should be pushed to its limit, for what exceeds its limit declines.' I offer this as gentle counsel."

"Well said," replied King Wei. He thereupon ended the late-night drinking bouts and appointed Kun as chief envoy to the feudal lords. Whenever the royal clan held a banquet, Kun was always in attendance.

"Well said," replied King Wei. He thereupon ended the late-night drinking bouts and appointed Kun as chief envoy to the feudal lords. Whenever the royal clan held a banquet, Kun was always in attendance.

"Well said," replied King Wei. He thereupon ended the late-night drinking bouts and appointed Kun as chief envoy to the feudal lords. Whenever the royal clan held a banquet, Kun was always in attendance.

More than a century later, there was You Meng of Chu. You Meng had been a musician in Chu and was eight chi tall, highly eloquent, given to witty remonstrance through humor.

More than a century later, there was You Meng of Chu. You Meng had been a musician in Chu and was eight chi tall, highly eloquent, given to witty remonstrance through humor.

You Meng heard of this and entered the palace gate. He looked up to heaven and wept bitterly. The startled king asked the reason. You Meng said: "The horse was Your Majesty's beloved. Given the greatness of Chu, how could anything be beyond our means? Yet to bury it with merely a minister's rites seems insufficient. I beg to bury it with the rites proper to a monarch."